Leila's first birthday: A flowery wonderland!

I still am in disbelief that my little bug is one year old! I think I blinked and that happened over night! I still have to take her official "12 month" photo, but I will share pictures from her birthday party that we had today!

Good morning, sweet one year old! 

Happy, happy birthday sweet girl! We love you beyond measure! 

First birthday madness.

I do not know why I stress myself out so much about birthday's, but it is something I always look forward too. I don't particularly love little minions running through my house destroying things, but, a birthday party means one year older, hopefully one year healthier, and an excuse to see good friends and family.

This year was particularly hard to shop for. We have like every toy invented (I know, first world problems) so I wanted to get something more meaningful for Leila's first birthday. I thought about it for awhile and finally decided last week what I was going to get her so I thought I would share with you all in case you are ever struggling what to get a one year old (like I often do)!

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I wanted something she would love, and something that could be useful and meaningful. I wasn't really going for a color theme, but it kind of just worked out that way! I bought all of these items at Nordstrom because they have the best customer service and price matched all of the online sales for these items. I did not pay full price for any of them! SCORE! 

I cannot believe my littlest peanut will be one in just a few short days. I hope to have all of the pictures of her party up by the end of the holiday weekend! 

Those emotionally taxing weeks...

As I sit here on the most comfortable, saggy couch, I just watch my blinker blink on and off. On. Off. On. Off. This week was emotionally hard. The last week of a semester always seems to be more difficult. Things come to an end, paperwork FLOODS your desktop and mind, and I had to rely on a number of people to get a few things done in order for me to finish the semester with an actual grade, not an incomplete. Relying on others is not my thing. I am so Type A, that I need to be able to take control of everything I am responsible for and relying on others flat out stresses me out.

At the beginning of the week I had some extremely sad news that I am not allowed to talk about. That news weighed heavy on my mind all week. Stress + bad news = not a grounded Caitlin. Yep, I just spoke wrote in the third person. Awesome.

Then I logged in to Facebook after a long Thursday with my kids, where we spent the entire afternoon at a local park, to see that someone I went to high school with lost his 15 month old son. There is something in me, and probably most people, that simply cannot handle hearing about the loss of a baby, kid, anyone sort of young. But, 15 months old. I have not been able to stop thinking about that sweet little boy since I heard the news. I do not know what happened to him, but I can't even imagine the pain they are going through right now.

I find myself going down the rabbit hole of "survivors guilt" of some kind. I couldn't help but think that while I was spending the day with my children at the park, someone I know was losing their child and experiencing grief that no parent should ever have to go through. Like, why? What kind of sick world do we live in where the universe takes babies? And GOD HELP ME if anyone ever tells me that "my child is in a better place" if their 'place' here on earth wasn't plagued with sickness. Even as a therapist, I do not think I could ever come up with the right words to say to someone who has lost a child. If you are the praying type, can you send a prayer into the universe for this family, I am sure they could use it. If you are the good vibes type, will you send out some good vibes?

Hold your babies a little tighter tonight and give them some extra hugs and kisses. 

May your weekend be rejuvenating and your week be bright.